FIGURING OUT OUR OWN OPINIONS
So I got my hair done today and for the first time in years, I didn’t get my roots bleached, I decided to just get my natural colour blended in instead and go darker.
This was not a decision I made lightly. I’ve done a lot of work around exploring old narratives I have about what I ‘suit’ in terms of hair colour which has been shaped, as is the case for all of us, in part by other people’s opinions.
Our own opinions are inextricably shaped by our past experiences and influenced by the opinions of others— living in a society, there is no escaping that. But it doesn’t mean that we don’t get to revisit our beliefs and preferences when it comes to our appearance, and separate the stories (which can often be rooted in random experiences—what some arsehole in a pub said to you ten years ago or a spiteful comment someone made at high school) and think “do I ACTUALLY believe that?” or “do I STILL believe that?” and allowing ourselves to change our minds. I have, for example, believed for many years that I don’t suit/like my natural colour. And this has now changed because it’s entirely possible to believe new things about yourself.
Me and Steph, my hairdresser, chatted away about this today and she said that women often say things like: “I’d like to get my hair cut shorter or go darker but my boyfriend prefers my hair long and blonde”. And it just made me feel really sad because I can’t imagine living a life where I feel I can’t do what I want with my own body for fear of what others might think.
When we don’t do the shit we want to do, when we’re not showing up in the way that we want, we diminish our power, we send ourselves the message that we don’t matter. People talk about wanting to improve their self-respect and self-esteem, well for me, that’s about paying attention to ourselves and our desires, and honouring the things that we want for ourselves, right down to the colour of our own hair.
This is not directly a fitness-related post, but the same can be said for what we want for our bodies. For instance, you may want to lift weights but your boyfriend doesn’t want you to get too muscly. Do you then not lift the weights? HELL NO, YOU TELL HIM TO JOG THE FUCK ON and get lifting. 😉💪