Not being as lean as you once were doesn’t need to mean some tragic loss of abs, or less than, or anything negative at all actually.
Not being as lean as you once were doesn’t need to mean some tragic loss of abs, or less than or anything negative at all actually.
I want to point out that yes, I’m still lean, I’m just not as lean as I was years ago but I don’t feel any kind of loss around that—I actually PREFER how my body looks now. But when I hear other people talk about not being as lean anymore, it sometimes sounds like a bit of an apology, like “yeah I’m not as lean BUT I feel stronger now, I feel healthier, I have more energy, I can eat out without feeling anxious etc.“
…and yay to all of those things, because that is definitely a massive part of why I honoured my decision years back to stop pursuing leanness and focus on health, strength, and enjoying my training, but it’s also ok to talk about it from an aesthetic perspective, that can also be part of why a person chooses to change (or not change) their body — even when that means NOT being as lean.
But it’s like we’re almost not allowed to feel that way as females, to pursue a desire to be bigger or build more muscle (which pretty much means not being as lean), or we don’t ever stop to ask ourselves what we really think or feel because our minds get hijacked by other people’s judgements, opinions and preferences.
But we’re up against it because our opinions are inextricably shaped by our past experiences and by the opinions of others— living in a society, there is no escaping that. Thus, our beliefs around our appearance are partly formed by outside influences, ‘reference legs’ as Tony Robbins would call them. We have all these reference legs to support that we look ‘better’ leaner. Why? Because people always praise leanness and weight-loss that’s why. But these are not the only options available to us.
When we sift through the bullshit of other people’s opinions and pervasive beliefs of how we ‘should’ and ‘shouldn’t’ look, to find space for our own, we all have such diverse ideas on aesthetics and what we like for ourselves, which is what makes us all interesting AF.
And it’s about being aware that we all have different preferences when it comes to our own bodies, and that we RESPECT that— that what we think about anyone else’s body is frankly irrelevant and none of our damn business.
Despite what you’d be led to believe, not everyone wants to be shredded or have abs, in the same way that not everyone wants to have big legs and huge boulder shoulders. Yes, some of us want more muscle, or to be bigger, or to be more curvy, while others do want to have a smaller, slimmer or leaner body — because that’s what we PREFER. We all get to like what we like and want what we want, for no other reason than that; no preference superior to another. AND BONUS—we get to change our fucking minds if and when ever we want to, our bodies are ours to experience as we wish.
And I love that people do what they want, that’s what I’m for, not people having certain bodies or goals, but for us to pay attention to ourselves and our desires, for us to honour the things that we want for ourselves, and make fully autonomous choices—I’m not sure there is anything more powerful. And for the record, a body is not some second-rate body because it now has more body fat. That story needs to die right fucking now. 👊